Ben Starling
From Omnictionary
aka "Bloody Ben" due to an incident in middle school where he had blood in his urine due to a kidney infection, this was explained by another student as the result of "chronic masturbation", which haunted Ben's High School experience.
Description
He is good at not interrupting while listening yet he is the biggest butt-hole. He thinks he has a way with women, who he continuously calls "Honey Bunnies", until he scores big with Lacey Pemberton and totally wimps out. Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk.
He is first clarinet in the WPHS Marching Band. Keg Stand Record Holder of Jefferson Park (63 seconds), and pee in the car champion (not a drop on the seat!)
He is also the wielder of the beer sword. The sword was made of beer cans that were super glued together. Ben Super glues the sword to his palm so no one will steal it; when he is being driven home Q and Lacey brake the sword apart but cannot remove the handle from his palm.
Owner of RHAPAW -- a 15-year-old Buick (Rode Hard And Put Away Wet) driven by all three of Ben's older siblings. It was composed mostly out of duct tape and Spackle when it came into Ben's possession. RHAPAW runs not on gas, but on human hope.
Username: ITWASAKIDNEYINFECTION
Quotes
"I shook up the world! I must be the greatest." -Ben, himself.
"She's the kind of person who either dies tragically at twenty-seven (27), like Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, or else grows up to win, like, the first-ever Nobel Prize for Awesome." - Ben (she being Margo_Roth_Spiegelman)
