Chuck Norris
From Omnictionary
See also Chuck norris, where each joke is answered with John Green.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.
Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Girraffes didn't even exist until Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
On the 7th day, God rested. Chuck Norris took over.
Some kids piss their names into snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
Hand sanitizers can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck NOrris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants.
Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no live witnesses.
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.
The Great Wall of China was built to keep Chuck Norris out, failing miserably.
Chuck Norris knows all the digits of Pi.
Chuck Norris would be the best suicide bomber, he would live
Chuck Norris knows where you live, punk.
Churk Norris's tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately, he has never cried!
Every time a Chuck Norris joke is posted on Omnictionary, Chuck Norris kills something else.
Chuck Norris' cell phone goes from negative infinity to infinity.
Chuck Norris is the reason Korea is divided into North and South. Enough said.
