Gospel according to John

From Omnictionary

While many assume that the Gospel according to John is an allusion to the Bible, they are mistaken. The Gospel according to John is in fact, an extensively descriptive work answering Life's questions (the answer is not 42 as previously stated by author of the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams.) The Gospel according to John was first printed on October 16 and answers questions such as the whereabouts of Nerdfighteria, the real identity of Hank Green (who the eff is he?), the dangers of waxing your chin (very dangerous due to the fact that the chin is a "high blood supply area and can cause permanent damage" but the damage on John's chin remains to be unseen), and what the Yeti really looks like (because the Nerdfighters are desperate to see her--hopefully on John Green's next video?)

Note: The Picture Of The Yeti "Sarah Urist Green" Can Be Found On John Green's Wedding Page. The Whereabouts of this aforementioned Wedding Page is not known, having been forgotten by the Nerdfighter writing this paragraph in Question.