Stu Malory

From Omnictionary

Stfuart James Malory (1950- ) is an American educator, currently employed as Vice Principal of Winter Park High School in Florida.

Born in Pensacola, the only child of his happily married, working class parents, Stu always did well in school, and always smelled quite bad, much like his father. Often praised by his father as “smarter than he looks,” Stu took great pride in his academic accomplishments and planned from a young age to help as many children as possible become smarter than they look.

Although Stu was very smart as a child he was tortured by the other students because of his three inch by three inch thick framed glasses. Only remembering what had happened at age 40, he decided that children were mean. He married Priscila Veronica Malory in 1972.

He earned his undergraduate and graduate degrees at the University of West Florida in Pensacola, all while still living with his parents and playing tile rummy with them on Friday nights. His father won most games, but Stu could easily outplay his mother, typically the worse for wine on the occasions they played. Fridays were “vice-day” Stu's mommy. Wine, card games, sometimes even a touch of lipstick. Fridays were a thrill for Estelle Malory, who on every other day was as pious as Madonna.

As for Stu; he never found a vice worthy of a day in his limited adventures, and never thought it a prudent idea to go out searching for one. He secured a teaching job at Maynard Evans High, where he abruptly taught geography for twenty-five years. He was then offered the Vice Principal position at Winter Park High School, which he abruptly accepted in 1999.